HEALING Process

 

There is that knife piercing into your soul kind of pain, You feel it plunging deep into you. Whats worse is not being able to stop the tears. How does one get over series of heartbreaks? “I

BEG TO ASK’?
They say move on, but it seems so far-fetched, difficult and totally impossible.(Well not impossible though) However, you and only YOU will determine how fast you get over it…how long your healing process stretches

Moving on to the agenda for today…

CLOSURE
In my opinion, this depends to a large extent on the angle of the break up, what actually transpired and who initiated the breakup. If you on the receiving end then I bet you would spend more than 24hrs asking yourself this 1 question “WHAT DID I DO WRONG?”

Give yourself a maximum of 48hours. You are allowed to reminisce and point fingers, do what you need to do to bring FULL closure. As humans no one likes to be blamed, but it helps when you face yourself and think, even if some of the blame goes to you. After that has been said, it is important that you reach a precise conclusion. You can do it!

LET IT ALL OUT

Cry! Cry! Cry! Don’t bite your lower lips to keep the tears from rolling down, don’t keep wiping your eyes to stall the tears. I repeat “CRY!” It is best to have a trusted friend who will do nothing but listen and not give you the “I TOLD YOU SO” speech.  A friend that will listen to how you feel, what you wished for, where you thought it was all going, how disappointed you are, how pained you are, how stupid and foolish you think you are, how you wish you could turn back the hands of time and not do some things you did for love. A friend that will constructively tell you were you went wrong and what you can do to avoid such mistakes.

Beware of that tiny voice that is going to tell you to make room for a comeback. Some say a partner that will come back never tells you it’s over,(OR DO THEY?) others say walk away once, shows you will always walk away, but we all know there is no hard and fast rule when it comes to the relationship issue. We ladies believe a guy becomes a MAN and rise a little above his confused state when he decides ‘she’s the one”, but then again how won’t our male counterparts be confused with all the boobs and ass flying everywhere.

Once again it is my opinion that you would be doing yourself a world of good once you erase the comeback scenario.

The urge is rush into the next one might come. For once ignore the sprite slogan, DON’T obey your thirst, else you will be the one rushing out or are you ready to make another stupid mistake? There are some who feel being THE player is the way to go because they feel played. Jumping around from bed to bed because some little voice inside your head is telling you someone needs to pay for the hurt you feel is total BOGUS. Get over yourself for five minutes? Truth be told, you don’t need all that drama.

For the ladies and gentlemen, once the relationship goes south, then take the time to enjoy your single life for a while, make yourself happy and that involves hanging out with your friends. I would also suggest you try and understand why the relationship ended, what qualities were displayed while in the relationship that can be improved on. Ask yourself these questions

1. Was I too possessive?

2. Was I right to walk away?

3. Did I do the right thing?

4. What are the positives and negatives of the relationship?

5. Did I treat my partner right or not?

And despite of the answers you come up with, leave that spot determined to learn to love yourself. Shower all the love you can on you. You can only love another when you truly love you. Being single is not a disease. It’s wonderful and you need it to understand what it means to be with someone. Ladies don’t shut other guys out, makes them your friends, they call it friend zone right? Yea….ZONE them J. The bad ones will get impatient and leave but the good ones will still hang around. Although there are bad persistent guys o…..*sigh* God help us. O:)

Guys do the same as well, but being a lady, if you friend zone us, we might eat you for breakfast.  A word of advice for my guy friends…alcohol won’t help you. It’s just going to take away the pain for a while and then replace it with that miserable and low down feeling. Face the issue head on! Talking and fixing issues will save you a lot of heartache

“Easier said than done” you would say but until you try, your opinion DOESN’T count.

Remember not all relationship ends in marriage. Good or bad, they all have vital roles. Just make sure you learn from it all. 

Always come out wiser and a stronger you.

 

Written by Olamide Dasilva

@DasilvaDiva1

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