PRIDE, THE LAST STRAW

Over the past two weeks I have been on a journey with the articles I wrote, the first was disappointment and expectations; then I wrote on shame. I believe I have arrived at the summit with pride. Pride also known as ego, can make or break you. It could be said to be an idea, image or believe about ourselves which we hold dear to, sometimes even to our detriment.

Detriment, because for most people, it is the only possession they have and covet with all passion. We encounter different display of pride almost per second as we go about our daily activities, but the obvious ones are seen as unwarranted. It mirrors how pride has dealt a deep blow into our societal values. An instance being the renowned statement of ‘Do you know who I am’. Yes I do and I would say you are human to start with. Before, the naysayers come with accusation that pride is positive, yes it could be positive, but self-worth is confused with pride most times. And the acclaimed positive pride is equated to self-worth in most examples.

Pride is the deep rooted cause of us being slaves to shame, and our perceived disappointments from non-negotiated expectations. It makes us wallow in the results of our actions not admitting and accepting ownership and taking actions. You are as good as what you are at present, so keep at work. Your profile needs daily authentication by your present reality. If you ‘used to’ have money, ‘Bro’,‘Used to’ should not be your present narrative, true success is a journey keep working. To buttress this, do imagine Bill Gate or Oprah Winfred losing all what their success brought to them, and they still have our reference or respect. They would or would not depending on your definition of success. The prevailing narrative of success has no room for ‘has been’ or ‘used to’. Walk the talk, continue with the journey.

The ‘I have arrived’ mentality has brought with it an unexplainable arrogance that lacks validation with consistent replication of initial success. Need I say, leads to a habit of eating dinner for lunch (no savings or plan for the future). Like our nation Nigeria which lived on this ‘I have arrived’ mentality with the discovery of crude oil, not replicating this success with building other means of wealth to compete with it. United Arab Emirates has tourism competing with their crude oil at present. As individuals most Nigerians, are indeed a representation of our nation. (Do not misunderstand my example to mean we should not have pride in our nation, we should be nationalistic and boldly say we are Nigerians).

Pride for some individuals, when broken has led to mental health issues, because they cannot fathom and explain their present situations. This is because they have defined themselves by their accomplishments, or perceived accomplishment and status; loss of any equates to ‘no need’ for further existence. Let’s appreciate success as a journey, bringing in humility as a companion, being consistent with work.

What’s your definition of success? Do I hear you say, wealth? Or to be wealthy? Well not bad. Decide to make it without cutting corners and to keep it measured and progressive, not forgetting a good and responsible family life. Sounds impossible right? But last I checked Bill and Melinda still are a couple; Susan was a strong pillar for Buffet for over 50 years before her passing. At present Mark is kicking it well with Priscilla (I pray they remain role models for our generation). And not forgetting the google guys. Success can be in most areas of life, not just career. 

Author

Chukwunwezie Yalokwu.